If you have spent years being told you were too sensitive, that you remembered it wrong, or that you were the problem, the question you are probably carrying is whether it was really that bad, or whether you're making too much of it.
That doubt is not a sign you are exaggerating. It's one of the most reliable effects of living with someone who has narcissistic traits, and it is often the last thing to lift.
When it shows up in your body
Most people arrive describing their symptoms long before they describe the relationship:
Walking on eggshells, constantly reading someone's mood before you know what you feel yourself
Second-guessing your own memory and perception
Hyper-vigilance that does not switch off, even now
That last group is the one people bring to their doctor and leave without an answer. Sustained relational stress keeps the nervous system in a state of threat for years. The body adapts, and those adaptations do not end when the relationship does.
Narcissistic abuse, PTSD and complex trauma
Many people search for whether what happened to them counts as trauma, or whether they might have PTSD or C-PTSD. Repeated, inescapable harm inside a close relationship is precisely the kind of experience associated with complex trauma, sustained over time, in a context you could not safely leave.
You do not need a diagnosis to get help, and I wo not hand you a label you did not ask for. But if the framework of trauma makes sense of symptoms that have never made sense before, that recognition itself is often the beginning of relief.
How I work
I hold a Master's degree in Counselling Psychology and bring more than 20 years of both lived and professional experience to this work. I have done my own healing, and it shapes how I sit with people: I know recovery is not linear, and that being met without judgment matters more than being fixed quickly.
We work with the physical and the emotional together. My approach is collaborative and paced by you; I will not push you toward any decision about the relationship, whether you have left, are still in it, or do not know yet.
Sessions are 50 minutes, in person in Victoria and online across British Columbia.
Common questions
Am I overreacting, or was it really abuse? Asking that question is itself one of the most common effects of this kind of relationship. You do not need to have settled it before starting therapy, working out what actually happened is often the work.
Can narcissistic abuse cause PTSD or C-PTSD? Prolonged emotional and psychological harm within a close relationship is associated with the same trauma responses seen after other forms of sustained harm, including complex trauma. Whether a formal diagnosis applies is a separate question, and not one you need answered before reaching out.
Why do I have physical symptoms my doctor cannot explain? Chronic stress keeps the body's threat systems switched on. Fatigue, pain, sleep disruption and digestive problems are common and well-documented in people recovering from long-term relational stress. It is still worth ruling out medical causes, and worth knowing that a clear scan does not mean nothing is happening.
Do I need a diagnosis for the other person? No. I do not diagnose people who are not my clients, and treatment does not depend on a label. What matters is the pattern of behaviour and its effect on you.
Can I come while I am still in the relationship? Yes. Many people do. Therapy here is not conditional on leaving, and I will not pressure you either way.
Do you offer online sessions? Yes, online across British Columbia, and in person in Victoria.
If you are not safe right now
Therapy is not the first call if you are in immediate danger. [VictimLink BC at 1-800-563-0808 /local transition house / 911.
Getting started
If you have been carrying this alone, that is reason enough to reach out. You do not have to be certain about what happened to begin.